Sailor Moon Super X
by Mochi1
Summary: Semi-offencive if you take your fandom a bit too seriously. Hilarious if you find randomness and completely mixing up the seasons is great fun! (i have gotten mixed reviews .) It is as complete as it is ever going to be. (Not done, but good for a laugh


A bad guy was sitting on his royal throne smoking a cigar and inhaling it. What is his name? Who knows? I surely don't. The Asteroid Sailors were around him. CereCere was feeding him grapes, JunJun was sitting under his legs, VesVes was around his neck and ParaPara was sitting on his lap. Suddenly the sliding door opened and a weird silhouette stood in the doorway. 

"I am Homer 2…." Announced the yellow robot that drunkenly lingered into the room.

"What the Hell?" Yelled the bad guy as he stood up knocking ParaPara, VesVes, and CereCere to the floor on top of JunJun.

"OUCH!" they all exclaimed at once. They got up, dusted off their butts and left in a huff.

"Who are you?" asked the bad guy.

"I just told you, Homer2!"

"Oh I thought that was a typo."

"Well its not, is there anything I can do for you?"

The bad guy thought, "Well you could destroy the Sailor Senshi or I mean the Sailor Scouts."

"Your wish is my command." Said Homer2 as he walked out of the room.

"Heh heh heh!" said the bad guy to him self." Now those meddlesome scouts will be gone and I will take over North America with my American cartoons such as Ren and Stimpy!" (® Nickelodeon)

* * *

"Michelle what do you want to do today?" asked Amora as she was sunbathing by the pool wearing a very revealing bathing suit.

"I don't know Amora" Replied Michelle who was wearing an even more revealing bathing suit. She took off her top and the bottom of her bikini. Then she jumped into the pool. She stared doing laps and the backstroke.

"I'm enjoying just watching this!" exclaimed Amora.

* * *

After Michelle swam and Amora sunbathed, they went to a café. Soon Usagi, Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako, Hotaru, Setsuna, Molly, Luna, Artimus, Diana, ChibiUsa, CereCere, JunJun, VesVes, and ParaPara joined them.

"Hi! What are you doing here?" asked Michelle as she spotted all of the people walking down the street.

"I don't know, don't ask Setsuna though, she's a mess. She was totally drunk last night. She started humping a tree and then passed out." Said Usagi looking back a Setsuna who was holding her head and chewing 12 children's Tylenol tablets. 

"To bad." said Amora who was playing footses under the table with Michelle.

Michelle giggled. 

Suddenly Homer2 appeared in the street.

"Must kill Senshi, must kill senshi…." He muttered.

"Kill Senshi" repeated a little girl with red hair up in heart ordangos who was holding an umbrella.

"Who are you?" asked Usagi.

"Chibi. ChibiChibi. Chibi!" said ChibiChibi.

"Ok…" said Usagi as she backed up.

"Hey that guy said he wanted to kill the senshi! Shouldn't we kill him?" asked Ami.

"Uh, ok." Said Usagi. "Moon Prism Power!"

"Mercury Star Power!" said Ami

"Mars Star Power!" said Rei.

"Jupiter Star Power!" Said Makoto.

"Venus Star Power!" Said Minako.

"Neptune Star Power!" Said Michelle.

"Your Anus Star Power!" Said No-One.

"Uh-huh…Uranus Star Power!" Said Alex.

"Pluto star power." Yawned Setsuna.

"Saturn Star Power!" Said Hotaru.

"Heart Crystal Power!" Said ChibiUsa.

"Earth Power!" Said a person that walked up.

"Vega Star Power!" said another person.

"Molly Star Power!" said Molly.

"Whoa, that took up a lot of space!" said Homer2.

"I am Sailor Moon, I am too sexy for my own good!" said SailorMoon.

"I am Sailor Mercury, I'm a big four eyed lame-o who wears the same stupid sweater every day!" Said Mercury.

"I am Sailor Mars, I got Psychic powers, I can crush you like tin foil!" said Mars.

"I am Sailor Jupiter, I got so much talent, every one reminds me of my old boyfriend even the inhuman!" said Jupiter.

"I am Sailor Venus, on behalf of Venus, I'll moon you!" Said Venus as she turned around, bent down, and pulled down her skirt.

"I am Sailor Neptune, I can swim in the ocean, I'll make you drown!" said Neptune.

"I am Sailor Your Anus I really skink!" Said Your Anus.

"I am Sailor Uranus, Neptune is mine if you touch her I will kill you!" said Uranus.

"I am Sailor Pluto, I probably cant do any of my attacks so what was the point of transforming?" Asked Pluto.

"I am Sailor Saturn, I'm too Kawaii for my own good!" said Saturn and smiled.

"I am SailorChibiMoon, I'm sweet and I'll give you tooth decay!" said Chibi Moon.

"I am Sailor Molly, Isn't my horrible accent too hideous to bare?" said Sailor Molly.

"I am Sailor Vega, I don't really exist!" said the non-excisting person.

"We are the Astoid Senshi, CereCere, ParaPara, VesVes, and JunJun." Said them.

"I am Sailor Earth, I can kill you I guess…" said Earth.

"Eeeep…. I'm scarred." Said Homer2 trying to sound sarcastic.

"All together!" said a tuxedo-clad person that just arrived.

"Moon Tiara Magic!

"Mercury bubbles blast!"

"Mars Fire Ignite!"

"Jupiter Oak Evolution!"

"Venus Love Chain uncircle!"

"Neptune Deep Submerge!"

"Uranus World Shaking!"

"Pluto dead scream."

"Saturn Glave Slice!"

"Molly Accent Scream!"

"Earth, Earth Quake!"

"Vega Star Power Hit!"

"Asrotid Hit!"

"Pink Sugar Heart attack!"

A colorful swirl of colorful colors aimed at Homer2, but missed.

"Hahahahahaha!" he exclaimed. "You missed!"

Sailor Earth picked up some sand and threw it at him. "Earth attack!" she said.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" he yelled. "Blinded, blinded by the stupid sand!" and with that he went back to the bad guys dimension. "BadGuy! BadGuy!" yelled Homer2 reveling the bad guys' real name. "Where are you… CRASH!" Homer2 fell down some stairs and died.

BadGuy was walking to the magazine rack when he saw Homer2 buzzing on the ground. He gasped.

"Damn you Apes, DAMN YOU!" yelled BadGuy for no reason. BadGuy went over and got a broom and swiped Homer2 under a rug never to be seen again. "Damn it, I didn't get to destroy him for myself!"

* * *

"What do you want to do today?" asked Michelle to Amora.

"Hot," said Amora.

"Yes." said Michelle.

"Sticky," said Amora.

"Yes…" said Michelle.

"Passion," said Amora.

"YES!" said Michelle.

"Fruit." Ended Amora.

"Oh, " sighed Michelle." I thought you were going to say sex."

"Hmm, Good idea." Replied Amora as they started to makeout.

* * *

BadGuy sat in his bathroom reading his STOLEN issue of the Saturday Evening Post. After reading an article written by Christopher Talbot Frank about Sand Dunes, he flipped to the Classified.

"Hmm, What's this?" he thought as he read the message:

_Awa, will kill for sex _

_Techniques include: Snipers, Super hornets, and _

_ Bad Breath. All I ask is Sex in return. No Phone connection, _

_ Telaport to sector 875. 8472. 098173 for my address._

"Excellent," said BadGuy after reading the article several times to make sure all she wanted was sex. "Another henchmen to fail. "Wah ha ha ha ha!" and with that he stood up and folded his copy of the Saturday Evening Post and reached for the toilet paper and flusher at the same time. 

* * * 

"Amora, don't touch me there, not in front of the children at least!" said Michelle as she giggled. 

"Children?" yelled Usagi. "We're only one year younger than you!"

The Sailor _Scouts were in what appeared to be Usagi's bedroom planing how to defeat BadGuy. Michelle and Amora were sitting on Usagis' bed, Ami and Rei were sitting on the floor in a pool of coke, Makoto was by the phone, Minako was sitting in a normal position under Usagi's low table, Setsuna was standing in a corner and Hotaru was sitting with all the cats around her nibbling at her neck._

All the sudden the lights when out.

"Ouch don't step on me!" said Ami.

"Were did the light go?" asked Rei to no one in particular.

"Amora! Get our hand out of there! What did I tell you!" said Michelle as she grabbed Amora's hand and pulled it out of 'there'.

"Mercury Star Power Make-up!" yelled Ami.

"Ami er Sailor Mercury, why did you transform?" asked Makoto as she slipped on coke and fell under the low coffee table along with Minako.

"To use my Super Computer for light." Said Ami as she took out her computer. A blue glow entered the room. Mercury walked over to a door and pulled it open. A garden was on the other side.

The light from outside filled the room and Ami flicked on the light switch.

Setsuna was getting very board hanging with these immature kids so he decided to leave. "Hey peoples, I'm leaving." And with that she was gone. She reappeared at the gate of time. She was in her sailor fuku again. 'I'm Sailor Pluto! Yeah I'm so important! This is my only main part in this whole story!' Thought Pluto as she got very depressed and took out a roll of weed. She took out her lighter that she kept in the top of her boots and lit the delicate roll. She then inhaled the fumes from the expensive drug. "Ahhhh! I needed that."

* * * 

"Let's see," said BadGuy as he stood in front of the sector directory."875. 8472. 098173, that should be it." He telaported infant of a door. The wall supporting the door was white. There was a hole in the white wall. A rat surried around his feet. He picked it up and ate it. Afted he digested his snack, he knocked at the door. A purple haired woman answered the door. When the door opened a puff of smoke flew out. "Are you Awa?" he asked.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Well, when I was reading the Saturday Evening Post I saw your ad and I found it irresistible."

"So you're my new boss?"

"I guess so."

"Ok, I'll meet at your place tomarrow. Bye." She shut the door in his face.

* * *

Usagi was walking down the street with Mamoru. "Oh Mamoru, isn't this a wonderful day?"

"Yeah, and its even better when I'm with you bunny."

"Oh you're so sweet." She said and tounged him.

She looked into his eyes and she looked into hers and they ran to Usagi's house. She unlocked the door. They didn't even make it to the bedroom. The started making hot love on the kitchen floor.

"Usagi, keep it down in there! I'm watching TV!" yelled Usagi's Dad from the living room.

"Yes daddy." 

* * * 

The next day all the senshi, including Pluto, were walking down the street. Pluto's eyes were blood shot and she was still really high. All the sudden Awa was standing in front of them.

"Hahahaha! I have found you! Now die!"

"No!" yelled usagi.

"Moon Prism Power!"

"Mercury Star Power!"

"Mars Star Power!"

"Jupiter Star Power!"

"Venus Star Power!"

"Neptune Star Power!"

"Uranus Star Power!"

"PlUtOoo Starrr Poder… Powerrr…"

"Saturn Star Power!"

"Earth Star Power!"

"Molly Star Power!"

"Luna Star Power!"

"Artimus Star Power!"

"Vega Star Power!"

"Pink Crystal Power!"

Then all these sailor people were standing around. Then Sailor Earth picked up some dirt and thew it on Awa.

"Earth attack!" she said and threw some sand on her.

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Awa.

Pluto stared at the ceiling and started murmuring something about cats and a beagle.

"Hey what's wrong with Pluto?" asked Chibi Moon.

"I dunno, when she isn't high we should take her to counciling and then ask her.

"Hmm, I wanna attack once…" said Chibi Moon.

"Heheheheh! My booty is sticky, Garnet Orb Smiley Face!" said Pluto.

"Hmm, ok. Pink Sugar Heart Attack!" yelled Chibi Moon. Pink sugar flew everywhere.

"Ahhhhh, my mouth. It hurts!" yelled Awa.

All the sudden a dentist ran up to her. He threw her in a chair and drilled at her teeth without numbing them first!

"Oh, my mouth, is swollen!" said Awa as blood began pouring from her mouth. Foam also came. "I'm gonna kill you, you little tooth ache!"

"Ach! She foaming at the mouth!" said Chibi Moon and began to run away.

"DON"T YOU RUN FROM ME!" said Awa in a VERY scary voice that it made Chibi Moon freeze.

"Wahhhhh!" said Chibi Moon. None of the senshi made an attempt to save her they just stood around. Mars and Jupiter played Rock, Paper, Scissors, Mercury read a book, Venus pulled up her skirt, and Moon and the Tuxedo-clad man started to make out as Neptune and Uranus whistled a song.

Awa reached her hand out and sucked all the energy out of her. Awa got a giant sugar rush. Chibi Moon fell to the ground, dead.

Moon looked over to her future daughter. "Hah! One less mouth to feed!" she said and laughed. She kissed Tuxedo Mask.

"Now I must leave you, time for sex!" said Awa and left.

* * *

"BadGuy, where are you?" asked Awa as she entered his castle in the sky.

"In the bathroom, who is it?" he responded.

"Awa, I've killed Chibi Moon, and you know what are deal was."

"Oh goodie!" he exclaimed as he opened the bathroom door. Awa passed out from the fumes. "Oh my Lord! I've uh hurt her!"

As soon as Awa woke up she and BadGuy had hot, sticky, passionate, sex.

* * *

Amora and Michelle were walking down the street.

"Michelle, what do you want to do today?" asked Amora.

"I don't know honey…" answered Michelle. All the sudden some yellow, spiky haired boy walked up to them.

"You to are lesbians?" he asked. "Woo Baby! Can I watch?"

"WHAT?" they both asked at the same time.

"Uh, what's your name little boy?" asked Amora trying not to kill him.

"Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?" Bart replied.

"I'm Amora and this is my girlfriend Michelle, of course you can watch, if you tape it and give us a copy, it's harder these days to get horny."

(Later that night)

Bart is at Michelle and Amora's apartment wearing his 'jamy-jams'. He had his tripod all set up and Amora and Michelle are sitting naked on the bed. Amora starts licking Michelle's foot. She giggles. Bart says he's never washing his eyes again. Three weeks later his eyes have dirt and bubble gum stuck to them and his sister, Lisa, makes him wash his eye, now back to OUR story.

* * *

"I need to get me some hoes." BadGuy said to himself, as he lay awake in the bed with Awa. Suddenly she self destructed and flew all around the room in a million pieces. It turns out that she was just another cheaply made American robot. "Ok, fine, I'll just get another henchman." He said as he stood and got his newspaper and went to the bathroom.

* * *

One day, all the sailor senshi were walking down the street for no apparent reason except for the plot. Amora and Michelle were asking each other what they wanted to do that apparent day, Pluto was smoking, Saturn and Chibi were 'experimenting', Moon and Mask were saying sweet nothings to each other and the rest were, again, playing a game of rock paper scissors to find out who would dance with the cute American that never existed.

"Umm, guys, what happened to the bad guys?" asked the so very inquisitive Ami.

"Oh who cares, as long as I got Mamoru!" yelled Usagi; loud enough for those ever so cleverly placed cute 'hunks' across the street could hear.

"Whatever…" said Ami as she begin to visualize herself naked, flying through leaves, being hugged and touched in a very tender area. "Mmmmmm!"

* * *

Bad Guy read yet another article in his ever so precious newspaper. "Oh, dash it all muggly, I shall never defeat those horrid sailor senshi!" BadGuy oddly exclaimed, thrusting his fist in the air. "Oh very well, I shall figure this one out myself, by adopting another henchmen to my already so long list of dead guys." He opened up the 'classified' section. "Oh goodie! Lots of em today!" He then scanned through the various articles. "Pooky?" what a odd and exotic name!" he said. "Ok, Pooky is my next villainous villain! WAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Usagi was quietly sitting on a bench as Sailor Star Fighter came up to her.

"Hey baby…" she said to her and licked Usagi's neck. Usagi giggled.

"You know I go out with Mamoru, silly!" said Usagi and patted Sailor Star Fighters leg. Suddenly, Sailor Chibi Moon's evil spirt returned and hovered between the two.

"Damn it Mom, where's Mamo-chan!?!?" she yelled.

"Fuckin ungrateful kid! He's MY man, don't you understand?" yelled Usagi back.

"Grrrrrrrrr…." Growled Chibi Moon as she prepared to bite Usagi's neck.

Sailor Star Fighter took out her M16 and got a head shot from Chibi Moon. She died again.

"Oh my God, you killed Chibi Moon, you Bastard!" said Usagi.

"Hey, don't steal material. Besides, you should be grateful to me. I mean I just killed Chibi Moon!" Said Star Fighter.

"OH! Thanks Fighter." Said Usagi and frenched her.

* * *

"Why, hello Pooky!" said BadGuy.

"Bark Bark, Woof, Woof, Bark." Said Pooky.

"Aww, aren't you just precious?!" said BadGuy in a cute voice. "Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Pooky stuck out his tongue and drooled. "Woof"

"Now, Pooky, I want you to kill the sailor senshi, OK?" asked BadGuy.

"Bow wow wow, yippee yo yippee yay." Replied Pooky.

"OK! Here, get the smell!" said BadGuy as he held Sailor Venus's G-String up to the dogs nose.

Its ears perked up. "Woof!" he started to run away.

"I hope he's going to get the Sailors…" said BadGuy.

* * *

"Oh, your voice is just so sexy! I could listen to you all day long!" said Sailor Jupiter in a weird, yet arousing voice as she held the telephone to her ear.

"Your call cannot be completed as dialed…" Replied the pre-recorded operator message.

"Really baby? That's so interesting! Tell me more, please baby." Said Sailor Jupiter, as she began to unbutton her shirt.

"…please check the number, and dial again." He said.

"Mmmmm, really?" said Jupiter.

"…."

"Hello?" said Jupiter.

"… beep, message number 9, beep….." Said the operator.

"OHHHHHH!!!!" yelled Jupiter as her eyes rolled back in her head.

Hotaru opened the door to Usagi's room. Her eyes bulged out of her head. "WAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Professor Tomoe!" she yelled as she ran away.

Usagi, who was behind Hotaru, walked in. "What the hell are you doing Makoto?!?!"

Jupiter threw down Usgai's phone. "Nothing… just calling my mom."

"Yeah, with your hand down your pants?"

"…"

Suddenly all of the Senshi appeared in Usagi's room. Minako stood there; so vulnerable to any sudden canine attacks. Suddenly, Pooky arrived singing the Lil' Bow Wow song.

"Bow Wow Wow, yippee yo yippee yay. Where my dogs at, bark with me now." The song seemed to hypnotize the Sailors. They all became gansta rappas. Then Pooky humped Minako's leg. Then, They realized how horrible they were at that so they decided to kill Pooky.

"Moon Prism Power!" said Usagi.

"Mercury Star Power!" said Ami

"Mars Star Power!" said Rei.

"Jupiter Star Power!" Said Makoto.

"Venus Star Power!" Said Minako.

"Neptune Star Power!" Said Michelle.

"Uranus Star Power!" Said Alex.

"Pluto star power." Yawned Setsuna.

"Saturn Star Power!" Said Hotaru.

"Earth Power!" Said a person that walked up.

"Vega Star Power!" said another person.

"Molly Star Power!" said Molly.

Then ChibiChibi came up. She stood in front of the dog, blocking any attacks that might be made. "CHIBI!" she yelled and immediately got everyone's attention. "Chibi, chibi chibi chibi chibichibi! Chibi, chibi chibi chibichibi!" ChibiChibi's speech warmed every ones hearts.

"ChibiChibi is right. He's just an innocent little puppy who was turned evil by that guy." Said Sailor Mercury. "I think we should all take care of him and…."

As Sailor Mercury was blabbing about how innocent the 'puppy' was, it took out two fully loaded machine guns and shot Sailor Mercury several million times. After several screams, a few giggles, and a whole lot of glue Sailor Mercury fell down, seemingly dead.

"Hahahaha!" Woof Woof Woof Woof…" Yelled Pooky in a fit of rage as he pointed the gun at all the sailor scouts. They became frightened.

"Damn it! Where is Pegasus?!?!?!?" Yelled Sailor Moon, who was pissed off.

"KaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaMaaaaAHHHHHHHH!" Yelled Goku, who appeared suddenly. Pooky vaporized into a million pieces. When the bright light disappeared all that was left of Pooky was a novelty whoopee cushion. "Hi guys!" said Goku, who was wearing Master Roshi's glasses.

"OH!" yelled Sailor Venus, Jupiter and Moon simutariously. "What a Hunk!"

"Wha?!?!" yelled Goku as they jumped all over him.

"USAGI!!!" screamed Mamoru. "GET OFF HIM!!" he grabbed her down and threw roses at her clothes so that she was stuck to the floor. "Now stay." Said Mamoru as he fed her a doggie treat.

Then Goku disappeared and Venus and Jupiter fell down off their roost on top of his hair. "Oww"

Every one crowded around Sailor Mercury's limp body to pay their dues. Then she suddenly woke up. "Whoa, I had the weirdest dream. It involved Pamela Anderson Lee, a two-night stay at a Best Western, and a tennis racket. And you were there and you were there and…" Before she could finish everyone went home and the streets were filled with hypnotized children and the eerie sound of a flute thing.

* * *

BadGuy sat around in his mansion with one 'Man Show' juggie and one girl he picked up from Hooters. They were both sucking on his big, hairy… ears and giggling. But then the Hooters girl turned into Drew Barymore. "AHHHHHHHHH!" yelled BadGuy, dropping her on the floor. Then the rest of 'Charlie's Angels' came in and did some cheap special effects. But BadGuy wasn't fooled and he disposed of them by pressing the little red button and bringing his pinky to his mouth. "Heheheh." The three flipped backwards and fell into a pit of fire never to be seen again. "Honey how much did that special effect cost?" Asked the 'Man Show' juggie. "One Million Dollars." He replied, stoking the hair-less cat. *

_*I'll let YOU figure out which 'hair-less cat he was stroking _

* * *

All of the Sailor Senshi were walking down the street again, just because the writer is running low on ideas. But then she concocted a brilliant plan! Suddenly the entire cast of Tenchi Muyo appeared next to the senshi.

Then they all had contests with each other. Makoto and Ryoko argued over which one had the bigger D-size chest, Washu and Ami argued over who was smarter, Minako and Mihoshi just watched cute Japanese kid shows, Hotaru and Sasami just started to experiment just like they did in the old days when Chibiusa was still with us, and the rest of them just stood around in a bit orgy.

Then Hello Kitty came to join the orgy and Luna and Artimus and Diana got into a big catfight with them, leaving hello kitty unmorally scary and she scarred away all the little kids. Luna, Artimus and Diana then vaporized into oblivion.

"Poor Hello Kitty." Said Rick Hunter with a smile.

"RICK HUNTER? HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?" yelled Tenchi.

"Well I was just in the neighborhood and the authors brother was coming up with ideas for this part." Replied the clueless Rick Hunter, from Robotech (Macross).

Eventually, all the idiotic jokes from the sailor scouts temporarily scarred the crossover characters away from the plot, never to be seen until the author becomes dense again.

* * *

BadGuy silently wondered through his huge palace. "WHERE IS SHE?" he yelled. Why was he yelling? "I HAVE MISPLACED MY 'MAN SHOW' JUGGIE!" he yelled.

After years of futile searching he gave up, and sat back down on his toilet with the newspaper, looking for another way to demolish the sailor scouts.

*…*…*

All the while the Senshi has his juggie. They were teaching her how to do important tasks, used in every day life, like how to tie a cherry stem with your tongue.

Then they all decided to sit down and watch them some TV. After flicking through all the channels they had to come up with an agreement on what the hell to watch.

"SESSIME STREET!" yelled Usagi.

"Today brought to by the letter 'H'', echoed Rei.

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" screamed Makoto. "BOY YOU NEED TO DUMP THAT TWO DOLLAR SLUT AND GO OUT WITH ME!" she yelled as if she was watching it or something.

"Haha, Makoto-san takes heroin." Said Hotaru.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT?!?" yelled Setsuna as she lit up some drugs.

"Like can't we all just, like, get along, or some junk?" said the 'Man Show' juggie.

"Get Along? What the Fuck?" they all asked as they kicked the juggie off the couch. She landed on all fours.

"Grrrrrrowwwl!" purred Amora. "I like her!"

Michelle sharply japed Amora with her elbow. "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"I'm sorry babe." She replied and started to make out with Michelle like on that one scene on 'Titanic'.

"Hey, Usagi-sama…" growled Minako as she watched the two outer sailors on the floor. "Wanna try that?"

"Hmmm… ok."

Then Minako and Usagi started to make out along with Amora and Michelle.

"Buncha carpet munchers…" Murmured Rei as she left to eat some cereal.

Then Sailor Star Healer showed up. She saw Minako and Usagi on the floor and yelled in disgust. "HEY! USAGI-SAMA IS MINE!" Then the camera crews from the Jerry Springer show showed up behind her. "I'M TAKING YOUR ASS TO JERRY SPRINGER!" she said, pulling Minako off Usagi and dragging her to the show.

(At the Jerry Springer Show.)

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" yelled Makoto, who was the only one in the audience since it was about 2 AM.

"Mam'm, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." Said one of the security guards.

"NO!! GIRRRL YOU SHOULD DUMP THAT BITCH AND GO OUT WITH ME!" she yelled and held onto her seat.

After two hours of struggling, Makoto and the security guard fell asleep on each other dripping in sweat.

(At the real show.)

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

"On today's show we have ' lesbian lovers, not wanting a threesome.' " Said Jerry as he walked over to Minako who was sitting in the single chair on the stage. "Its good to have you back Minako."

"What?" asked the audience of other Senshi. "You've been here before?"

"Oh yeah, 'run by streakers' and 'girls who steal certain unimportant things from men such as their virginity." Said minako with a smile.

"Ohhhhhh" cooed the audience.

"Well I'd like to ask you you're story THIS time." Said Jerry, handing her the microphone.

"Well see, I like Usagi and everything you know. Since we do look the same and she is so sexy I mean just look at her smooth body!" Minako said as a naked picture of Usagi popped up on the screen. It was took when she got drunk off that 'juice' which she drank too much of.

"Well lets bring her out now!" yelled Jerry as Usagi came out wearing hot-pink colored saran wrap.

"Whoa, nice to see you Usagi. "Said Jerry as he got turned on.

"Nice to be here." She said as she kissed Minako.

"OOOOOHHHHHHH!" the audience yelled.

"BEEOTCH!!!" yelled Sailor Star Healer as she walked up onto the stage and started to curse out Minako. "Girl you best not be tripin all up on mah grill!"

"Shit nigga, I'll be all up on your grill if I wanna be!"

"Don't be trifielin beeotch! Or I'll get all mah niggas in the hood to bust a cap in ur ass!" said Sailor Star Healer as she slapped Minako.

The security guard ran up and pulled Sailor Star Healer away.

"Umm, tell me, do you always talk like that?" asked Jerry.

"Oh no!" said Minako. "I don't know why we were talking like that, she just came up to me talking like that so I talked like that!" Minako protested all in under one second.

"Well let's talk to our audience." Jerry held the microphone up to one, particurly green, brunette girl.

"Well I just want to say that Sailor Star Healer should forget about that cheep nickel whore and go out with me!" yelled Makoto.

"I though you were arrested."

"Umm…. You're thinking about someone else..heh…" said Makoto as several security guards slapped handcuffs on her and dragged her to the jail.

"Ok…. Anyone else?"

A dark man wearing all black and a red cape stood up. "I think you should let Usagi choose who she wants to be with!" The man whose name begins with 'V' said and sat back down.

The audience hooted at his request and started chanting as if they were part of some Satanist cult. "JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!"

"Well Usagi?"

"Umm…. Umm…" said Usagi, she looked as if she was… no… oh bejesus! She is…. She is using her brain! Wow! Her face turned red since she was using the organ for the first time in over 18 years! (Heh, do the math) "I'll take…. CURTAIN NUMBER THREE!"

Sweat drops formed over everyone's head. Then Minako and Sailor Star Healer got into a catfight and the security guards tried to stop them but they couldn't. Then after several Love-Me chains and Uterus thingy's they managed to get themselves pregnant. When they noticed the oversize bellies on each other they started to yell at each other.

"Stupid, if you didn't use your Uterus attack then I wouldn't be pregnant!"

"You wouldn't? What about me? I had you use it, you used your love-me chain idiot!"

They started getting very stressed and they both went into labor right there.

"What ever happened to the nine months?" asked Jerry as he turned to the camera. "We'll be right back for the conclusion."

After a brief fifteen-minute break the show came back on and they continued on with having the babies. So after a good half hour, a lot of Vaseline and some stickers the babies came out. The babies stood up and started talking to the audience.

"Ahhhh!" the audience yelled. "There hideous!" "It's just like that part on Alien 2!"

Minako and Sailor Star Healer looked at their children. It was none other then Artimus and Luna back from oblivion!

"I was just asking them why we were here." Said Luna, staring out into the empty audience. Artimus shruggled and walked away, Luna followed him.

"Hey where did Usagi go… and Jerry is gone too!" said Minako, surprisingly being insightful.

"Hmm…" said Sailor Star Healer as they walked away.

Unexpectedly, Usagi was hiding behind curtain number three… and she was with Jerry, making out.

* * *

"Wow… it's been a while since I've had a part in this story…" said the BadGuy, as he climbed into his Jacuzzi filled with oatmeal. "Well, I have hired a new wicked criminal! Do you know what it is boys and girls? Well you have to clap your hands very very loud so it will hear you and come out and say hello! (Get your minds out of the gutter.)" BadGuy started to clap his hands together vigorously, despite the oatmeal stuck to them. But alas, all the little children were clapping along with Blues Clues, and ignoring poor BadGuy. BadGuy grimaced and shrugged. "All well…."

* * *

"Hmm… I wonder when the bad persons are going to attack again?" asked Michelle, who surprisingly wasn't asking Amora what she wanted to do that day. Everyone was in Usagi's room. Ami was reading, Michelle and Amora was sitting on her bed, Rei was messing with tarot cards, Hotaru was making things float, Usagi was making out with Jerry Springer, Setsuna was smoking and Makoto was sitting on the bed strangely observing Amora.

"We have to kick their butt!" said Michelle, twirling a lock of her hair and giggling.

"Humph, I bet you do know a lot about 'butts' don't you Michelle." Said Makoto, staring at her.

"What is that supposed to mean?!?!" Michelle yelled.

Makoto grinned and shook her head. "It means that Amora isn't a girl like everyone thinks she is, obviously!" Makoto then pulled down Amora's plaid pants and then her boxers, revealing that she is none other than a … woman! "Oops…"

Amora giggled, giving Makoto the impression that she wasn't going to be killed, but then Amora punched Makoto into a sticky pulp, well at least for the meantime.

"Ohhh, what a perfect best friend!" said the bubbly goo that is Makoto, and then blushed

Mamoru casually walked into Usagi's room.

"USAKO!" yelled Mamoru, as he punched out Jerry Springer, flattened him out, put him in an envelope and mailed him to Peru. "Bunny, why were you making out with Jerry Springer?"

"Umm, I did it to make you jealous." Usagi said, twirling a lock of her hair.

"How was it supposed to make me jealous if I wasn't supposed to know about it?"

"Umm…"

"Hey guys, what did I tell you about stealing material? I'm sure the good people at 'Daria' put in a lot of effort to make that up…" said Rei, still playing with her tarot cards.

Usagi then kissed Mamoru. Then walked out of the people filled room and into her parent's room. Then stuff happened.

"Eww, Mamoru-Kun just indirectly kissed Jerry Springer!" said Hotaru.

Nobody laughed except for Ami. But she didn't really laugh; it was more of a snort.

Setsuna shook her head in pity and walked over to Ami. "Here, I think you really need this." Said Setsuna as she put her bong into Ami's mouth.

"Doesn't this give you cancer?" asked Ami.

"Hell no! You're thinking of cigarettes, this doesn't do anything harmful to you!" said Setsuna.

"Ok." Then Ami got really high along with Setsuna. Then she started to wear all black and wear blue lipstick. Then Setsuna convinced Ami to get her lip pierced, so she did. Then when they came back their high was wearing off.

"Damn, we need to get some munchies." Said Setsuna so she and Ami ate some Fingos.

* * * 

"Ok. Time to unleash my great power!" said BadGuy manically. He was standing in a dark wear house of some sort. "Come out, Big OOOOOOO!!!!"

A giant robot thing came out. It was on a conveyor belt, moving upwards.

"BIGGGG OOOOOO!" It said. But then the conveyor belt stopped. Then all the lights went out and a sound was made as if it was losing power.

"Damnit, I just can't win! I can't!" yelled BadGuy as he started to cry like a baby. "I wan mah baba!" One of his servants, coincidently named Igor, gave him his bottle.

Then suddenly Big O blew up. It destroyed half of his floating place thingy. Then BadGuy started crying and he threw a tantrum. "I WANNA KILL DA SAILOR SOUTS!!! WAHHHHH!!"

"OK, OK! Jus stob crwyin masta!" said Igor. "Hi kwill dah senchi ford youse."

* * *

"Umm, bunny, I have something to tell you." Said Mamoru, grabbing hold of Usagi's hand. They were in his apartment.

"Yes Mamo-Chan?"

"I'm… pregnant…." Said Mamoru.

"WHAT?????" asked Usagi, her eyes popping out of her head. "I thought we already had pregnant people in this story!"

"I did too, Bunny, but I guess the author thinks its funny to screw up peoples lives."

After a brief silence Usagi said, "Mamo-Kun… how are you going to have the baby?"

"Ouch…"

* * *

Michelle and Amora were sitting somewhere in Edo-Tokyo. They were looking around cluelessly. Michelle sighed. "Amora, what do you want to do today?"

"I don't know Michelle." She said, bringing her hand to her chin.

"Masaka! Gaiteki!" Yelled a ninja who just walked up. Then a Shogun and a whole bunch of Samari started chasing them, yelling inunderstandible things in Japanese. Amora and Micelle started running for their lives. 

"It seems we are stuck in another time period Amora." Said Michelle, who wasn't out of breath at all. 

"Really? Wow." Replied Amora, not being sarcastic. 

"I guess Puu did this to us."

"Since when do you call her Puu?"

"I dunno."

* * *

Usagi paced back and forth in the hospitals waiting room, wearing a deep groove in the concrete flooring. She was tearing up a piece of paper. "Oh Mamo-Chan…"

"Mamo-Chan!" said ChibiChibi who was sitting on one of the chairs. Usagi sighed and sat next to her. "Chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi! Chibi, chibi. Chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi ."

"Grrrrrrr…" mumbled Usagi.

"Chibi."

"Shut up"

"Chibi"

"Shut up"

"Chibi"

"Shut up."

"Chibi."

"Shut Up."

"CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI!"

"SHUT UP, DAUGHTER! OR CHIBIUSA'S DAUGHTER OR WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE JUST SHUT UP!"

"Chibi?"

Then in a fit of rage Usagi threw ChibiChibi out the 8th floor window.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Yelled Mamoru from the other room.

"Sir, just push!"

"OH GOD!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Mamoru again in agonizing pain.

"I see the head! Give me the plunger!"

"Stop stealing material!" said Rei looking up from her magazine.

"GET THIS LEECH OUT OF ME!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Sir, I don't think you should call your child a leech."

"SHUT UP I….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh Mamo-Chan…I knew I should have used more protection!"

" Wha…? I'm not even gonna ask…." Said Rei.

Suddenly the cries of a baby were heard. "Mamo-chan, can I come in?"

"Sure Bunny."

Usagi walked in and sees Mamoru lying on the table holding a baby. Usagi goes to look at the baby.

"Chibi!" said the baby and pointed to Usagi.

"Damnit!" yelled Usagi. The baby looked just like ChibiChibi; in fact the baby was ChibiChibi.

"Damnit!" said Chibichibi and hit Usagi over the head with her umbrella.

* * * 

"Setsuna!!!" yelled Michelle; they had slipped through a tear in the dimensional fabric.

"I didn't know that space was made of fabric." Said Amora who was holding Michelle's hand. "Hey, why is everyone else's name written in the Japanese way and we are the only two with DIC names?" asked Michelle absent-mindedly.

"Umm, well I guess because my Japanese name looks too much like Hotaru's and yours is just messed up." Said Haruka to "Or at least that's what the Author thinks."

Michelle thrust her hand to Amora's mouth. "Shhh, don't speak of the Author that way, Amora. She'll have you killed, that's what happened to Small Lady."

* * * 

BadGuy sat upon his golden toilet seat and read the newspaper.

"Hello BadGuy!" a voice from under him exclaimed.

BadGuy stood up immediately. His eyes teared up with joy at the sight that was before him. "M..M…Mr. Hanky??

"Yes, BadGuy, it is I, the legendary Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo." He jumped out of the toilet. And you have been naughty this year."

"Oh I am sorry Mr. Hanky, I can't help but me bad. Its in my name!"

"Well you get not presents this year! Only coal!" Mr. Hanky dropped a bag of coal on BadGuy then disappeared.


End file.
